The last few weeks have been unlike any others in my life. I cannot fully describe it, only to say that I have felt revived in my relationship with the Lord in a way like never before.
I feel fired up, yet humbled down.
I see the grace of God more clearly, and yet am aware of the depth of my sin more deeply.
I see people in a different way. I see souls…souls in need of healing, in need of grace, in need of mercy…in need of Jesus.
I see time differently.
I turned 55 in September. My natural Father died at 49. My Mom went to be with Jesus at 62. How much time do I have left?
How much time to I have left to love my wife and kids? How much time do I have left to make an eternal impact in the lives of those around me? How much time do I have left to share with people that they need Jesus?
I feel the Lord calling me to a level of commitment that I have never felt in my 44 years of knowing Him.
I feel that He is calling me to totally abandon myself to Him. I hear Him telling me to pour myself out for Him.
And I want to do this…oh how I want to do this.
But I am afraid.
What will it cost?
I know the answer.
What changes will it require me to make?
I know the answer.
And so, I must decide.
Two roads lay before me.
Do I take the narrow one that He is calling me to travel?
Or do I continue to walk my own path…follow Jesus my own way?
I know the answer…even as I am afraid of the answer, I know what it will be.
I will choose the narrow road.
I am sure I will stumble down this road.
I am sure I may even veer off of it from time to time.
I have no doubt that I will fall on occasion.
But when I do, when I fall and skin my knees, I want to bleed Jesus.
I want my spiritual muscles to be stretched beyond my abilities, and to ache and cry out Jesus!
I want to every breath I have to be Jesus.
Pray for me, I think the ride is going to get a bit bumpy from here on out.