If I had a quarter for each time that I have heard the above statement, I would be a wealthy man today. It seems that as soon as someone knows that I am a pastor, they feel the need to explain why they don’t go to church any longer.
While I have gotten used to hearing “I used to go to church” from a wide variety of people, I have never gotten used to hearing why they no longer go. With very few exceptions, the reason given always has to do with an unhealthy church experience. These unhealthy church experiences are not easy to categorize. They usually include a variety of experiences, from emotional pain, cliques, heartbreak, betrayal, hypocrisy, and the list could go on and on. One thing that seems to be a common thread woven amongst all of the stories is this: legalism.
Now it has been my experience that as soon as you bring up the word, “legalism”, someone begins to think that you are going soft on discipleship and Christian living. I do not consider myself as soft on either of those things, rather I believe we should be hard, or heavy with grace. I believe that if we claim to belong to Jesus, then others have the right to expect that we will live lives worthy of the high calling we have received, and that includes celebrating the grace we have received as well as extending that grace to others.
Several years ago Steve Arterburn wrote a book called, “Toxic Faith” which addressed the issue of unhealthy churches. As much as I like the book, I have always felt that the title is misleading. It is not the faith that is toxic, rather it is the unhealthy church that is toxic.
A legalist is always easy to spot. You can see them constantly checking out their “legal” list to see if you and I are measuring up to their “do’s” and “don’ts” of the Christian life, usually with a heavy emphasis on the “don’ts”.
They remind me of the Galatians that Paul wrote to in Galatians 3:1-3 “You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?”
Please don’t misunderstand me here. I strongly believe that even though we do not become sinless once we are born again, I do believe that as we grow in our faith and in our relationship with Christ we should sin less.
If God has enough grace to save us (Ephesians 2:8-9, 2 Timothy 1:9), then surely we should be able to have enough grace to extend to each other as we “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).
How can we be followers of Christ who extend grace to one another, yet stand firm for the faith and against sin? That will be addressed in the next post.
Still following Jesus,
Pastor Dave
Thoughts on Scripture and life, from a small church pastor. Exploring what it means, that everyone needs the Good Shepherd.
5 comments:
Yo. I think there are several reason why people quite attending. One is the "spectator sport" aspect. In many churches, the senior pastor is like the ring master; if you don't think like him, then you feel odd, or like an outcast. Another is that we are all drawn away by our own lusts. The first instinct is to hide, like Eve and Adam did in the first garden. We don't like the feeling of being hypocritical, so it's just easier to start dosing out our attendance until we feel better about ourselves.
Legalism, to me, is Christianese. Of course, most churches (that tend to be conservative by nature) have sets of dos and don'ts going on...once again, they usually reflect the pastor's preferences and his weaknesses.
But, the real nasty thing is what I call "conformism," or just plain conformity. There's a saying in sociolinguistics: "We talk LIKE the people we talk WITH." We also unconsciously absorb the values and behaviors of the social group to which we belong.
So, many church attenders master the talk, and they copy the walk. They learn to schmooze, make social (and work) connections, and adopt all the values that it takes to blend in. Add to that the pressure from church insiders to go along with the program, and everyone becomes the same.
The danger is that many folks think they're okay (sanctified and washed in the blood) because they don't do all those nasty behaviors that are proscribed by their little network: they don't smoke, they don't drink (to excess), they don't cuss, they don't watch 'R'-rated movies, on and on. What to do with a brother or sister who smokes?
But, thinking that I'm okay, doing the right things, and holding onto community values IS NOT a relationship with the Living God! It's a substitute. We can get lulled into apathy--and when our leaders finally screw up, which they will, then the walking zombies are shocked! They leave for another church, or stop attending altogether because of the disillusionment.
The cure is for the leaders to be real, and not hide their own failures. But real can't just be an act. It needs to be sincere and accurate, reflecting the servants heart. Then, when people leave or get to that point of, "I used to go to church," they know it's because of their own rotten hearts. Welcome to the human race.
Being a true follower of Jesus means going where He went--to the ignoble death on the cross. It is patently NOT become middle class and mastering the art of clean living. It requires discipline (disciples?), effort, commitment, and the willingness to admit that we are all fallen human beings by nature.
The Good Shepherd is in the business of finding those that are lost. He's a Master at that.
Fred
2nd try. Too many typos on the first.
Yo. I think there are several reasons why people quit attending. One is the "spectator sport" aspect. In many churches, the senior pastor is like the ring master; if you don't think like him, then you feel odd, or like an outcast. Another is that we are all drawn away by our own lusts. The first instinct is to hide, like Eve and Adam did in the first garden. We don't like the feeling of being hypocritical, so it's just easier to start dosing out our attendance until we feel better about ourselves.
Legalism, to me, is Christianese. Of course, most churches (that tend to be conservative by nature) have sets of dos and don'ts going on...once again, they usually reflect the pastor's preferences and his weaknesses.
But, the real nasty thing is what I call "conformism," or just plain conformity. There's a saying in sociolinguistics: "We talk LIKE the people we talk WITH." We also unconsciously absorb the values and behaviors of the social group to which we belong.
So, many church attenders master the talk, and they copy the walk. They learn to schmooze, make social (and work) connections, and adopt all the values that it takes to blend in. Add to that the pressure from church insiders to go along with the program, and everyone becomes the same.
The danger is that many folks think they're okay (sanctified and washed in the blood) because they don't do all those nasty behaviors that are proscribed by their little network: they don't smoke, they don't drink (to excess), they don't cuss, they don't watch 'R'-rated movies, on and on. What to do with a brother or sister who smokes?
But, thinking that I'm okay, doing the right things, and holding onto community values IS NOT a relationship with the Living God! It's a substitute. We can get lulled into apathy--and when our leaders finally screw up, which they will, then the walking zombies are shocked! They leave for another church, or stop attending altogether because of the disillusionment.
The cure is for the leaders to be real, and not hide their own failures. But real can't just be an act. It needs to be sincere and accurate, reflecting the servants heart. Then, when people leave or get to that point of, "I used to go to church," they know it's because of their own rotten hearts. Welcome to the human race.
Being a true follower of Jesus means going where He went--to the ignoble death on the cross. It is patently NOT become middle class and mastering the art of clean living. It requires discipline (disciples?), effort, commitment, and the willingness to admit that we are all fallen human beings by nature.
The Good Shepherd is in the business of finding those that are lost. He's a Master at that.
Fred
Fred, I agree with your comments, and plan on addressing some of them in an upcoming post. Of course, the reason people leave church are wide and varied, but over the past four years at the church I pastor we have seen about 40 different people come to our church who have been part of what I call a "toxic church". These are not brand new beleivers, but seasond "veterans". This is the perspective that I am coming from when I right. I will try and make that a little clearer in the upocming posts. Thanks for your comments.
Pastor Dave
Dave,
I guess my comments would be more intelligent if I knew the context.
BTW, do you ever put your hair "up?" Just kidding. It's good just to have hair.
Fred
Fred, your comments were very intelligent, and since I'm talking about intelligence, I can't believe on my last comment I wrote "right", when I meant "write".
Thanks for reading the blog.
dave
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